Is it worth leaving the comfort zone?
If you ask anyone what he wants out of life, he will probably think for a few seconds and then begin to list a list of material and/or individual things. However, what he is trying to say is always more or less the same: being happy. The real question would be another one: how to get it?
Happiness is not something tangible, although it is felt in the depths of our being and radiates outward creating a kind of aura almost visible around us, which others can perceive, although not everyone likes them. Neither it is a goal to achieve, but a way of life or an attitude towards it. As I always say, someone can decide to be happy or not. It sounds weird, but it’s not so much. There are three things (only three) that are needed to achieve the sought after happiness:
Decide to want to be happy
Know what you want from life
Put all the energy into achieving it
Decide to be happy
I mean really wanting to achieve it, not just wishing it and complaining about not being able to be happy. This seems simple, but it is actually the hardest part. It is necessary to adopt an optimistic attitude towards life.
The first step is to know that what you want is always possible.
I have read many books and watched videos that explain it in different ways, but they always reach more or less the same conclusion: the universe is not just matter and what you want to achieve must first be projected. That is, if you wish to be a successful person, you must believe and behave as such (and this does not mean to pretend). If there is a stumble on the road (we all have it), we must not become depressed, we must learn from the mistake and capitalize on the experience acquired.
I guess that more than once you have made a mistake in life or have had a bad experience (on my case, for example, I merged with my first company, to name one). What do you tell yourself about that experience? Is it a bad memory for you or an experience that enriched and strengthened you?
Know what you wish
It is clear that not all of us seek the same in life. Each of us has different tastes, desires and aspirations. It does not matter what areyours, but that you know them.
I am obviously talking about deep things, not superfluous ones. I mean, you may want a new cell phone or computer, but I’m sure that will not achieve anyone’s happiness.
I always knew, from the age of 16 or so, what I wanted from life, although over the years those goals have been changing (broadening or being more specific). To give an example, I talk about me. My first goal was to form a well-constituted family (a woman I respect, admire and love, children who fills me with love and pride, and a home which is my refuge for peace). Years later (during college) I decided to be independent, have my own company and achieve professional success. I was never ambitious, but I always wanted to have a good economic pass (No quiero mucho más dinero del que necesito, pero tampoco falta). Much later, almost by chance, I discovered my passion in this life: traveling.
The foregoing constitutes, in some way, my concept of happiness. That does not mean that my whole life revolves around it or that it’s always a fairy tale. I mean, I like to have breakfast outside on weekends, go out for a drink or have dinner at a restaurant two or three times a month, make some exercise, take care of my health, get up early to listen to the singing of birds, etc., etc.
All this is part of my way of enjoying life, accumulating happy moments (so that they are more than the others), but I never forget my most important goals.
To sum up, it is very difficult to feel optimistic and happy when you do not know what you want out of life. I have spent a lot of time meditating (generally in the middle of nature: by the sea, on the top of a hill, in a forest, or wherever you feel at peace with myself) to think about my life, where I am, how I got there and where I should go next.
Struggle to achieve it
Love and passion. That is the key to achieve it. Put all the desire, effort and passion into everything you undertake.
There are some things that depend too much on chance (for example, knowing the ideal person to share the rest of life together). I think we all cross that person, but we do not always realize or take advantage of the opportunities that come our way. You have to keep your eyes open and trust that everything happens for a reason.
Not all goals are so difficult to achieve. For example, traveling is something that is within the reach of the majority. Obviously, it requires to achieve certain economic pass, but that would be just another goal to achieve if it leads to the desired objective.
Anyway, here appears again the theme of attitude. Only certain types of people have what it takes to persevere, for years if necessary, to achieve the desired objective. As Diego Dreyfus always says (a life coach worth listening to):
“… you’re going to die, what are you going to do about it? …” That phrase means that you only live once. If you are not satisfied with what you have in life, what do you expect to change it?
I am going to tell you a short story…
Back in 2012, 17 years after we got married and around the age of 40, with our house already finished and our children already teenagers, we could make the honeymoon trip with which we have always dreamed (I drop a tear of emotion remembering it): to know the Caribbean.
That turned out to be not only our dream trip, but the event that changed our lives. I discovered that my passion in life was to travel (I could not get an idea out of my head … if what I was seeing was so beautiful, how much more was there to discover?). And best of all: my wife was also caught by the same passion.
Immediately after finishing that idyllic journey, I began to think what I should do to continue traveling. And I did not stay there. I made plans, researched, read everything, I subscribed to any forum, application or flight program that I thought would be useful, I changed the way I handled the business of my consultant, I imposed a vacation bonus, in short, all that could help me fulfill my goal: keep traveling. I discovered all the tricks to buy cheap flights, I understood that vacations should not be a seasonal event in high season, the different types of accommodations, how and when to buy, etc., etc.
To sum up, I became what many of my friends consider as a travel expert. In fact, I created a blog to help others get it and tell my adventures.
After a while, I started to go on holidays two or three times a year. Then, every two months. Getaways of 3 or 4 days up to 10 days at the most, interspersing an international destination with another one of cabotage, so that the costs are not so high.
Today, 8 years later, I am living in Valencia, Spain. One of the reasons why I am here with my family is to travel in Europe. I had to leave my comfort zone (sell my house, leave a comfortable economic position, friends and everything that I know) to achieve a new goal. Believe me: it was worth it.
Is it worth leaving the comfort zone?
My life is not perfect, it is far from it (I do not even know what the hell a perfect life means), but I can say without hesitation that I am happy. Besides, I know why I am and how I got it. I read a lot and I am interested in different aspects of life. I think I have an open mind and I like to listen to others, in order to know other cultures and ways of life (that’s why I love travelling).
Life is not a competition. Strange as it may seem to our competitive nature, we can all win.
I do not live in a bubble. I know that there are many different realities, that some people are born in situations that should not exist. Maybe this applies only to a certain sector of humanity. It is sad and unfair, but I can do little to change it, beyond collaborating with foundations that aim to eradicate extreme poverty and inequality of opportunities in the world.
Now, the most likely thing is that you, who are reading this article, come from more or less what we could define as “middle class” (low average, medium high, it does not matter). Obviously you have access to the Internet, to a computer or a smartphone, therefore surely you also hace access to drinking water, food, education and probably medical coverage. I do not know how your home or your friends would be. Anyway, you should always take the best of what comes your way and learn from what is not. Leaving behind what does not work and progressing towards what you want to achieve.
So I ask you again: do you think it’s worth leaving the comfort zone?
Life can be as wonderful as you can possibly imagine.
https://waterfallmagazine.com
Great article, totally what I needed.